Well, did you know he wrote for serials? Which means he was paid by the word. Makes so much more sense now, doesn't it?
So I am going to try something new, in hopes of not only increasing my cute little blog's readership, but also to get out some of the original content of my book, Two Fat Girls on a Volcano (preceding the blog, mind you). And that something new? Serial blog posts! So please please stay tuned, and don't forget how much I love feedback...
This is the beginning of my and Mom's travel adventure. It is written in third person and the names are changed, to protect the innocent. I hope you find it as funny as I do.
Bags packed, with an escort to
the airport from loyal husband and father, two anxious girls stood in front of
the ticket counter three months later.
“Checked for first class domestic,
coach to Heathrow?” the well accoutered flight attendant asked Ellen.
“What, first class? Um, no.” Ellen
was immediately flustered. Jade looked over
her shoulder to see her father trying and failing to hold back a smirk. In fact, at this point he was practically
chortling.
“Mom, I think Dad may have
upgraded us.”
“What are you talking about,
honey?” Ellen asked, turning first to
her daughter, and then glancing at her husband.
“Did you?” she asked him.
“Yeah, well I have all those
frequent flyer miles, and I thought you girls would like first class,” he said,
grinning. He clearly was quite pleased
with his surprise.
And so were the girls! Their
first foray into international jet setting was getting better by the
minute. What surprise would they
encounter next? Neither of them could
wait to find out. They quickly hugged
their goodbyes and headed for the departure gate after checking the
luggage. Hopes high and excitement
running through their veins, Jade and Ellen boarded the flight to Dulles, where
they’d connect for Heathrow. Enjoying
the spacious luxury of first class was something these travelers could get used
to, and each settled into quietude, pondering the upcoming vacation and its
possibilities.
The flight landed uneventfully in
DC, and Jade and Ellen made their way to the connecting flight. Ellen was nervous, she was never the one in
charge when traveling, but felt the duty should fall to her. Jade was not nervous; cocky may have been a
more accurate description. She was quite
confident in her ability to find the next gate and get to it and she saw no
reason why Ellen shouldn’t be able to keep up.
Which Ellen did, well even, despite the worry written on her face and
lacing her words. The girls even had
time to powder their noses and relax a little at the gate before boarding
began. So Jade stuck her nose back into
her novel, and looked up only when the gate agent started to call boarding.
But Ellen was nowhere in sight. Not unusual, Ellen was often on a bathroom
break. But this seemed a long time to be
in the restroom, so Jade headed in after her to smoke Ellen out. She wasn’t in the ladies room. Jade’s mind raced a bit, where could her
mother have wandered off to now?
After 10 minutes and still no Ellen,
Jade started to worry they would miss the flight. The plane was boarding now. She went up to the desk and asked the airline
representative if she had any idea where Ellen could be.
“Oh yes,” replied the gate
agent. “She went to the baggage claim.”
“What?! Why?” Jade’s intense
personality could easily have been mistaken at this point as incredulity.
“Well, there was a problem with
your luggage, it wasn’t checked through to your final destination, so she had
to go to the bag claim and then recheck it to London. Hopefully she’ll be back in time to make the
flight and have gotten the bags checked.”
The airline rep had this plastic, sort of insincere polite expression,
probably in an effort to placate Jade.
“Which way is the baggage claim?”
Jade was rushing now, no time for pleasantries. “How long before the gate
closes?”
“It’s down that hallway of flags,
you can’t miss it. The gate closes in
another 10 minutes. Good luck!”
Good luck? It’s not luck if it’s
in someone’s control, which closing the gate most obviously was – in that
Stepford wife of a gate agent’s control, to be precise. Jade used her frustration at the situation to
propel her down the hall of flags; she was a girl on a mission. She was bound and determined to find her
mother, their bags, get them checked, and make it back to the gate. Her sheer will was impressive, and her facial
expression cleared the foot traffic out from in front of her. Until, at the end of the hallway, she found
her mother. Ellen was shuffling along
hurriedly, whispering to herself as she commonly did. In fact the girls were each so much in their own
world that they almost ran into each other.
Jade grilled Ellen if she’d
accomplished the goal before asking, “why didn’t you come get me, I could have
helped?” It was half question, half accusation.
“I thought I’d be able to do it,
and I didn’t realize how tight the time was,” Ellen answered, as Jade herded
her toward the departure gate as fast as humanly possible.
“We only have like three minutes
to board, Mom, we have to hurry!” Luckily,
Ellen was very accustomed to Jade’s high strung nature, and was only mildly
annoyed. After a pause from
conversation, while still speed walking toward their gate Jade remembered to
say, “hey, thanks for doing that. It
would have sucked to get to London and have no luggage.” After all, Jade wasn’t truly selfish, she was
just disinterested in a lot of things.
But she also had little desire to be the center of attention, and was by
no means vapid.
“No problem, hon, I hope we make
it. Do you think we will?” Ellen
answered, half panting.
As Jade and Ellen arrived at the
gate and promptly boarded the plane, they breathed sighs of relief while settling
into their coach seats. Note: first class always seems like a good thing,
but remember to reserve an upgrade for the final flight of the day; going from
first class to coach is a great way to dampen your spirits.
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